Communique to the radical community of PDX
If I sound pissed, it's cause I am but with an open heart and listening ear. I am Personally hopeful, my reasoning on reaching out to you. and raves on social problems I feel we don't face enough or ever.
Wake the fuck up! if you are going to fuck around, so be it, fuck and enjoy it (hell yeah)!,, but do it with maturity, responsibility, and consideration. If you involve yourself with someone who is involved make a conscious effort to reach out to your lovers other lover, ESPECIALLY if that person identifies as a womyn. If you can't face them and honestly express your intentions when that person needs to hear it, than I personally believe that you should not practice polyamory. Sure I know most of you do the whole "casual" game of "we don't need to talk cause it's not a big deal." Well, sorry, being intimate with someone, even just a fuck can involve the smallest amount of emotion and you need to be respectful of all people involved (including yourself). Talk it out just once, face each other, knowing that you are fucking the same person. Welcome to community building, reaching out to the ones closest to you, congratulations on completing what I believe are the responsibilities of being polyamorous. If you fuck around with people who are already involved and don't communicate openly and HONESTLY to all the people involved, the all if what it is, fucking around, don't claim to be polyamorous.
So why do this especially with womyn, 'cause society tells us women to be silent and blame ourselves for any problems in our life. Don't continue the silence, empower yourself and the others involved to be open raw and honest. This to me is fucking beautiful, I love it when I can talk with my lovers other lover and understand co and give co the space and time to share their feelings. it feels shitty knowing that all that person knows is what my lover tells them. I don't like it when my emotions are passed on to someone else through my lover, those are MY feelings and I want to be heard straight from '" the source. Open up to her, show by example, and give her the space to open up if she wants, let her feel that she isn't to blame for all the problems that are existing with her relationship/s.
Also in response to the harassment/assault/violence that has occurred to our community in PDX in relations to polyamory: I will predict that if more talking is going on, especially between womyn, when shit happens the survivors will be understood BEFORE shit happens and better understood afterwards. If there's more talking going on about polyamory, I'm sure it will open other topics up like "hey, is it okay if I touch you here?". or "how did you feel after seeing (the other lover) at the party last night?" The ability to face each other and express what we want and how we feel is a good step towards opening up communication in relationships, on dates, at shows, any place that sexual advances/relationships occur.
Let there be slutty minds blowing sexy times, but with responsibility and consideration!
Hey so, if you see the same person over and over at different events, try introducing yourself to the (sounds simple huh). I know some of you do this but isn't it annoying seeing that person over and over an you both totally recognize each other but for some dumb reason you don't feel its important to acknowledge them fully by teaming their name? And if someone says, "hey, I see you everywhere, what's your friggin' name?" try not to respond with a weirded out look and be stand offish. They are taking a risk, making themselves vulnerable, acknowledge this and show appreciation in a way you feel necessary.
Lets take some of the courage we have on the streets and transfer some of it back into our social
For you rad people who identify as womyn: hey so do I, and I feel interconnected with you, so why the competitive, blank or uncaring glances? I know I do it too by accident but I just wanted to say that you are my priority, I want to feel more connected to you than a male any day. I care about you, let's open up more, support, strengthen and love each other. I have made a commitment to support any womyn when co really needs it. Need someone to talk to, cry with? Please write, I'll make myself available, seriously.
Hmm, so we all know that cliques suck right? So why the fuck do we have 'em?!! I", how do I define a clique? Well, something like a group of 2 or more people who look intimidating, unapproachable, who don't introduce themselves, who respond coldly to you introducing yourself, or who see you at several events and don't include you when you're there alone (and you're someone who obviously has things in common with them). It's oppressive, and excludes people: two things we're trying to fight. We should try and be closer to the people outside our close knit groups. To those who are fighting for the same things in the same ways but maybe don't know you all as well but want to. So my suggestions: start by paying attention to those around you, smile a little more and maybe one of you can strike up a conversation with that cutie who's too shy or intimidated to introduce themselves. I think we don't intend on creating exclusive atmospheres or look so intimidating or uncaring of those around us, so lets try to be aware of this, please? We already feel isolated and unloved in this coldhearted and fucked up country, let's not carry that on in our communities.
Thanks to you for reading this in its entirety, to listening to what I had to say, thank you
I in no way feel that I expressed what I felt perfectly in this writing (its hard to do you know), and if you want to reflect/debate/chat, FUCKING GREAT! If I made you think/pissed/inspired, my job here is mostly done. My other responsibilities are to continue to open up and to listen to you when you have something to say, or a feeling to express. I am creating a support network,, one that is real, day to day and available. I am contributing to a subculture in which I hope to be even more proud to be a part of...
INNACT THE ANARCHY HEART PATCH ON YOUR CARHARTT'S AND SHARE THE LOVE FUCKUH!!
With an open heart and a listening ear...
You can contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
please feel free to copy and distribute amongst yourselves.